How to Tell Loved Ones that You are Terminally Ill

If you have been diagnosed with a terminal illness, finding a way to tell your loved ones is very difficult and emotionally taxing. If you find yourself faced with this challenge, you may not know where to start. While the process of conveying a terminal illness to relatives is different for everyone, here are some tips to facilitate the conversation:

Be Direct.

• When approaching a difficult topic, it is best to cut right to the chase. Getting the information out there will lift the burden off of you and allow your loved ones to get a clear view of what your illness entails and of what the future may hold.

Don’t be afraid to show emotion.

• Though your natural inclination may be to appear strong for those that you love, don’t feel the need to hide your emotions. Dying is scary, and it is okay to express your fears to those who care about you. They will understand that you are dealing with complex emotions and will do everything in their power to make this process as easy on you as possible.

Be prepared to answer questions.

• Though you are familiar with the terms of your illness and may already be prepared for your end-of-life process, your loved ones are not. Be prepared for them to ask difficult questions such as “How long do you have left?” or “Are you sure there aren’t any other treatment options available?” Though you may not be able to alleviate all of your loved ones concerns, allow them to ask questions and create an open dialogue with you, as it will help the acceptance process.

Write down what you want to say before you start the conversation.

• As this conversation is difficult to have, it may be helpful to write down the key points that you wish to address in your discussion. That way, you won’t forget to say anything that you feel is important and you will have notes to reference if you need them. This is especially helpful if you feel that you or your loved ones will become highly emotional throughout the course of the talk.

Give your loved ones a chance to process the news.

• Though you may have made peace with your illness, the revelation that you are dying will be shocking news for your loved ones. They may have trouble accepting what you are telling them right away; this is natural. Give them time to process this information, as they may not know how to react at first.